why does tumblr always personify introversion as a tiny cute girl who drinks tea reads books and wears sweaters like i’m a 190 pound man who hangs out in the gym and in the woods doin manly shit but people still make me nervous like damn
my hand slipped.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
Currently drinking: The best Butterbeer I have ever tasted.
this website SAVED MY BRAIN when i was a stressed out college student. quite a few of you are still suffering through college so i hope this helps you too!! c:
pokemon colors - paras, sunflora, politoed, wooper, venomoth
What’s the difference between america and yogurt?
If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture
this was like the sickest burn I’ve ever seen
Lee Jordan’s commentary appreciation post
Was just to travel back a couple of years
To when we first met before the fights and the tears
To the time when you and I first got together
Simple days and simple words like “forever”
Tripped off our tongues, come on you must remember
|—||Frank Turner (via franksaysblog)|
I love this the dog is like awkwardly wagging his tail like he’s happy but doesn’t really know what’s going on I love this so much
the new assassin’s creed looks great
This can’t be the new assassin’s creed, thats a woman.
I just tried to discretely use one if the body sprays at work cuz it was called Fantasy Forest and I was like…. I’m down…. BUT IT JUST SMELLS LIKE REALLY STRONG DIRT AND A GUY YELLED “WHO SPRAYED THAT FOREST ELF SHIT” FROM ACROSS THE STORE
Translated by Sarah Nader
[image text] When Maite had her first girlfriend at 16, many thought she was just experimenting. It may as well have been the case, but Maite can’t recall ever hearing that her sister was simply going through a phase when she had her first boyfriend…
😒😒😒 this is so true I had to deal with this bullshit too